This is what he told me he did on transfer deadline day

It was a lovely day, perfect last day of the transfer window. To the phone booth on the corner I walked and dialed the Daily Mail. I disguised my voice. “Yeah,” I affirmed for the third time, “Arsenal have bid £50 million, see? Yes. For Cavani, see? Edinson is thinking about it.” I said it “Edison,” like the American inventor. I giggled, replacing the receiver. I called them back. “And Rabiot,” I insisted. I hung up again. Rabiot. What a touch of genius. They will stay busy!

I returned to my home. My wife told me she just saw a rumor of Cavani and Rabiot to Arsenal. “I did not see it,” I told her.

I had some café while brushing up on my German and Spanish. Whether we buy does not depend only on me, but I might need to convince someone later in the day. It is good always to prepare. If not for my command of German and the lyrics of 99 Luftballons, Mesut would still be at Real Madrid. It is a song he loves, 99 Luftballons, but irresistible when treated as poetry. You hear it in a different way when it is spoken rather than sung.

Sometimes it is necessary to pull out all stops.

I binge-watched 24 Season 5. That is my favorite season. Jack Bauer working as a common laborer after faking his own death. Jack Bauer framed for the murder of the President. Jack Bauer locked in a room with a bomb. Jack Bauer, torturing. Jack Bauer, showing compassion. Jack Bauer discovering the truth about the current President. Jack Bauer stopping a submarine attack. Jack Bauer captured by the Chinese.

What one can do in 24 hours! It is remarkable!

I watched the last episode a second time.

I flew to Paris on a commercial jet. I pretended not to notice the passengers snapping my picture secretly with their cell phones and posting to Snapchat. So funny. All the way in the limo at every light, phones, photos, and Snapchat. I went to my favorite café to have lunch with a casual acquaintance. He looks so much like Edinson, even I had to look twice when I saw him! More phones, photos, more Snapchat.

Boeuf bourguignon, Perrier, chèvre, fruit. That’s what my acquaintance had. I had the cheeseburger and fries.

As well, I went to the beach. I could not go to the beach this summer, for you see, there are always photographers. But it is transfer day. No one was at the beach. I went also to the pool. No one was there either. They were all gathered by their phones and iPads and computers, checking news sites, reloading the gossip page again and again, hoping for news. All day, clicking, checking twitter. Hoping I’ll make a move.

Here’s a move. Regardez-moi!

Whee! Transfer deadline day is quite a thrill!

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